August 28th, 2008 by Fakencin
TYNIEWEENY, Miss.— Residents of this large metropolitan city awakened this morning to some strange news. Workers, while clearing away trees in a huge cave, have found the smallest remote control in the world—and apparently it still works!
Workers had been removing small trees well inside the cave when someone spotted the remote control on a small rock ledge about 35 feet above the cave’s floor. A supervisor for the crew was summoned immediately. He quickly climbed to the ledge and retrieved the device.
“The find is certainly unique for this area,” noted Thay Gottabea Khidin, professor of Electronic Antiquities at nearby Smalton Technical Studies Academy. Professor Khidin had been called to the job site immediately after the discovery. “It certainly is the smallest remote control ever found. We even tested it and it still works. Unfortunately, we have yet to determine its massive power source and what it operates,” Khidin explained.
Local chapter officials with the International Center for Ancient Electronic Antiquities Collectors (ICFAEAC) are also on the scene after having been notified by Khidin. “The device is certainly ancient in nature, possibly over 5,000 years old. Whether it was used by the local cavemen or by UFOs, we just don’t know at this point. Our investigation is ongoing.” noted a spokesman for the group.
However, since the remote control’s discovery last month, local law enforcement personnel have been responding to numerous calls concerning strange occurrences with electronic appliances, gadgets and garage doors. Officials have issued a request for residents to keep all appliances and gadgets turned off when not in use and to avoid using their garages for safety reasons until the source for the disturbances can be pinpointed. Additionally, residents are being asked to report any unusual activities in the sky. –by Itt Isza Soh
CIN: This ‘report’ has plenty to consider. Why were they removing trees inside of a cave? The person that spotted the remote control must have had keen eyesight. Professor Khidin’s remarks and specialty are quite interesting. How can ICFAEAC officials know that the device is ancient? Local law enforcement seems to be busy for some reason. Their instructions seem to be a little strange too. Why would they want residents to report activities in the sky? Hopefully, the source for those disturbances and the origin of the remote control can be determined.
Posted in UFO, Small, Itt Isza Soh, Strange, Object, Ancient | No Comments »
August 27th, 2008 by Fakencin
MAEEATYA, Nev.—Scientists, while studying a recently discovered expansive marsh near their home, have stumbled upon a new find—large man-eating plants. Unfortunately, it was only after a member of the research team went missing that the discovery was made.
“We were walking along the edge of this small marsh when I noticed our colleague, Ivaa Bin Etin, was missing. He was right behind us when I last looked back. Several minutes later, he was gone. It was so strange and totally unexpected that we couldn’t believe it,” explained Watt Che Thaplaants, professor of Carnivorous Plant Studies at nearby Plantbytetum College.
Within minutes after the incident, officials from the International Center for Man-Eating Plants Association (ICFMEPA) were on the scene to investigate exactly what happened. To date, officials have only found microscopic fibers of clothing near some very large menacing looking plants.
Further investigation is currently underway to determine whether Etin was wearing protective clothing at the time of the incident. A spokesman for ICFMEPA has assured the community that the ICFMEPA Rapid Response Team should have some preliminary results about the clothing’s nature by the end of the year.
In the meantime, local law enforcement officials have quarantined the surrounding mountainside as a precautionary measure. They’re asking all residents of the sparsely populated area to remain in the area at this time for safety reasons. Residents are being instructed to take extra precautions when entering the marsh and to report any suspicious plant activities to local officials immediately. –by Makin Dah Knus
CIN: This ‘report’ has many interesting aspects. It is good that they’re finally studying that marsh in the area, but bad that something may have happened to one of them. Professor Thaplaants’ specialty is interesting. Why do they strongly believe that it was a man-eating plant that was responsible for Etin’s disappearance and not something else? ICFMEPA sounds like an interesting group. Why were they the first on the scene? Is the clothing aspect important? Local law enforcement officials seem to be giving some interesting instructions. Hopefully, more information about the plants in question and what happened to Etin will be forthcoming.
Posted in Makin Dah Knus, Strange, Plants, Big | No Comments »
August 26th, 2008 by Fakencin
SHOOTUUMUP, Hawaii—History buff, Outt Tuew Gettum, was surprised today when he was clearing away some overgrown grass on his expansive sheep farm. He uncovered the fourth getaway car belonging to the infamous Bonny and Clyde duo. “The bullet holes are still visible here and here,” explained an excited Gettum as he pointed to holes in the car.
After his discovery, Gettum immediately contacted his local chapter of the World Heritage Entity on Gangster Old Technology & Car Help Association (WHEGOTCHA) to report his discovery. Local chapter director, Itt Gottu Beatru, was on the scene within seconds. “The car is certainly well preserved. Only Bonnie and Clyde could hide a car this well,” noted Beatru. “They must have driven it here after their other cars were discovered about 11 years or so ago,” Beatru further explained.
Shortly after Beatru made his impromptu inspection of the car, local law enforcement descended upon the small farm in full force. As it turns out, the WHEGOTCHA is required by local land ordinances to immediately report all discoveries and reports of discoveries to local law enforcement. Since law enforcement had been looking for this particular car since 1915, they wanted to take no chances of it being hidden again.
Immediately upon arrival, law enforcement officials quarantined over 100 square miles of the surrounding farmland and set up roadblocks on all roads entering the area. They explained to Gettum that it was a precautionary measure, but wanted to make it very clear that he was not to leave the premises and to stay within visual sight at all times.
According to officials, the car will be driven to an undisclosed location in Alaska for evaluation and analysis. Residents are being asked to promptly check their grassy fields in hopes of finding other Bonnie and Clyde getaway vehicles. If any are found, residents are being told to immediately contact their local chapter of the WHEGOTCHA. –by Imma Seer Eous
CIN: This ‘report’ seems a little strange for various reasons. How many expansive sheep farms are there in Hawaii? The grass must really grow tall on a sheep farm. How do they know that it’s Bonnie and Clyde’s fourth getaway car? Mr. Beatru must live extremely close to Mr. Gettum. The land ordinances must be particularly strict in that area. How did the local law enforcement find out about the discovery? Something seems odd about the quarantine. Hopefully, the car will get a thorough evaluation at some point.
Posted in Vehicle, Imma Seer Eous, Object | No Comments »
